The Goblin Queen and Her Nightmares

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1

The creatures in Brett’s dreams liked to play hide and seek.

They hid in the corners of her mind; their voices were a shriek in the night as they seemed to call for her but never revealed themselves. She found herself looking for them, searching for them. Always wondering what they were, where they hid, what they wanted. And it always ended the same…. With her running.

At this point, she had grown accustomed to spending her life in a dream. The hazy absurdity of her sight, the skewed reality of the world. The people, places and objects always seemed to ripple like heatwaves in the desert. When things didn’t feel real, she would always know, but knowing didn’t do her any good. It never did.

And understanding that she was standing in another dream didn’t allow her to chance to wake up early, and it certainly didn’t mean escape. God forbid… freedom.

Half of existence was sleep, and she was always conscious within it. Rarely had Brett gotten a peaceful night where her dreams didn’t come to haunt her, and she could experience bliss in nothingness. Emptiness was a paradise, and a luxury she would never feel.

So, she spent half of her life in a nightmare. A never ending, terrifying nightmare that returned to her every night, over and over and over until she drove herself insane. It was as if they were waiting for her to succumb. To let go of the control she had left and give it to whatever force controlled her dreams. When she could hear them, when she could understand them, they called themselves goblins. But for some reason the goblins in this world didn’t act small and irritating, they didn’t look like green, ugly gnomes hidden in gardens or forests.

In this world that her nightmares created, they were monsters. Withering and dying, with limbs like tree branches intertwined with each other. They were dead and soulless but with a presence that couldn’t be ignored.

A physical manifestation of the shadows. An embodiment of darkness. And even when she was lucky enough to find herself half-awake in the night, the longer she stared at her ceiling, the more she realised she was frozen. Unmoving. Once again, with a complete loss of control.

And those monsters… those goblins, they would come back. A thousand times more real and a thousand times more terrifying. After so many years of living her life lost in a world that held her captive, a world within her mind, tormenting her, torturing her, she finally succumbed.

Earning her title, The Goblin Queen. Despite the lack of control over the creatures in her dreams, she’s learned how to control certain aspects. And within her dream, she decided that if she could not be rid of her nightmares, then she would be more terrifying. One thousand times more terrifying.

Taking the appearance of a ghost-like wraith in the shadows, covered in the blood of her enemies, she became a goddess. Slender yet curvaceous, breasts larger than her own when she was awake, legs pristine and long, skin untainted. The ghoulish clothes she wore, which were like ribbons of shadows, barely did much to cover her.

Leaving almost nothing to the imagination. And even as those floating clothes trailed behind her like long, tattered dress, it revealed the curve from her hips to her thighs, as the blood trickled down to her ankles.

With blackened hair like coal and skin as pale as the moon, she became the night itself. A supple, gothic beauty in the ugly world that was created in her mind.

Gracefully floating in the world that still tried to terrify her, sometimes it succeeded, sometimes she was too tired to care. Other times, she dared to make them afraid. Rarely did she ever attempt this, but when her patience ran out, she laughed in the face of fear and spat out what they threw at her. Her blood red lips, tugged upwards, the sharpened corners of her lips widening.

Brett awoke, heart beating rapidly, her entire body shivering against the cold. She blew out a breath of warm air, and watched it mingle with the frozen atmosphere, turning into mist as it parted from her lips. Sweat coated her skin like a blanket, and she kicked away her sheets, catching her breath. Her nightmares had won tonight. Her eyes drifted to the clock. 4:00 am.

Far too early. Though she had gotten more sleep than most nights. She hadn’t fully closed her eyes to let sleep take her away until 12:00 that night, which meant she had endured at least four hours of torture. Which was either longer in her nightmares or quicker. It was unlikely that it was the latter this time though. Time didn’t work the same when she slept.

She sighed, pinching her wrist, which had long since been reddened from years of checking if she was awake, and slipped out of bed. Unlike everything else in her life, her pyjamas were expensive. Thin satin that pressed against her naked body like air. When she slept in it, it felt like she was sleeping in nothing. Or a cloud.

Long ago she had tried to find clothing, sheets, mattresses, or anything that would help her sleep better at night. None of them worked of course, because the goblins still tormented her, but it helped when she awoke in the night, covered in the sweat, that her clothes didn’t stick to her the way cotton did. It felt less sticky, less like she would need to shower.

She readied the pot for boiling water and made herself a cup of coffee. The world was still covered under a dome of stars. Light didn’t show itself until it was nearly 5:00 am so for at least an hour, she was trapped in darkness.

So, she waited the full hour, training her mind to no longer be afraid as she sipped on her coffee and let the warmth run down her throat.

When light finally came, she regretfully peeled off the sat pyjamas and slipped into her everyday work clothes. Granted, being a barista had not been her dream when she was younger, but she was more than content to stay in the job. Possibly because she was too afraid to change anything in her life, to take risks when she was awake.

Or possibly because in the grand scheme of things, having a middle grade job was something she didn’t consider the worst part of her life. She appreciated the mediocrity; it was calming and peaceful. And a part of her day she didn’t want to abandon for a home that reminded her of what awaited her when she closed her eyes.

The roads were quiet when she started her car, the sun was still mere, but it lit up the world in its golden hue and through the mirrors she saw a peek of her sunlit skin. Her light freckles specked in the suns light, like glitter.

She wasn’t opening today, so she had no way of entering the block. Instead, she waited at the front door for Kelsey.

“I don’t know why you’re always early,” Kelsey shook her head when she arrived. It was a light-hearted tease.

“Me neither,” Brett lied, “I suppose I’m just an eager worker.” I want to run away. Kelsey chuckled, letting Brett into the coffee shop first.

“Don’t stop on my account, since you’re so eager, you can help me open,” Kelsey said.

Brett was more than happy to comply, and as always, she resided in the hidden corner of her mind that allowed her to go through the day as if she was watching it like a movie.

Sitting in the backseat of her own life, watching it pass her by and dreading the time she would need to jump back into the driver’s seat and try to gain control of the chaos in her dreams.

Customer after customer she flashed them her pretty smile. The same pretty smile that won her countless sleepless nights and happy customers. Every drink she served, every breakfast meal or lunch, was one step closer to going home.

Until it finally came.

Until she finally reached the end of her shift and she returned to her car, tears rimming her eyes. When would she be rid of this torture? Pills didn’t help. She drove the longest way she could back home, and when those pitch-black windows greeted her, she felt the chill run down her spine once again.

She felt the goosebumps erupt on her skin and the soft tendrils of fear gripping her mind and wrenching her heart. Her stomach dropped. She took a deep breath, exiting her car and opening the door to her dreaded house. She didn’t know how long she had spent standing at the front porch waiting for the courage to step inside, but when she finally did, her heartbeat had practically reached 100 miles per hour. The day had worn her out more than usual, and that made things worse.

Knowing that she was tired from work meant she was more prone to falling asleep quicker, and she could already feel the house calling for her to fall into a slumber. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

No. She would not sleep, not if she could help it. Her hands were trembling as she made her way to the kitchen, not bothering to turn on the lights, she would be plunged into darkness either way. She fumbled with the coffee packet as she emptied its contents into an empty cup and poured the hot water into it. Spilling some on the ground, she swallowed the entire cup of boiling coffee in a few deep gulps and collapsed onto her couch staring at the ceiling. Repeating the same phrase to herself like crazed person. Don’t sleep. Don’t sleep. Don’t sleep.

But the night was not merciful to her this time. It rarely ever was. Was she surprised?

Darkness consumed her and she was plunged into the Goblin World once again. She stared at her reflection in the pond. It was thick like tar but clear as a mirror, and she was as divine as a goddess of death. The ribbons of her shadow dress danced around her, revealing the slightest hint of her nipple and the soft hairs of her sex.

Already, she looked like a prize to be won for the goblins. Years of having the same dream, she knew where they were the moment she looked up. Blended in with the trees. Their sounds, though quiet, still surrounded her. They would be deafening soon enough.

And the chase would begin. Her heart pounded, she looked down at the beautiful goddess at her feet, staring back at her, with a fear in her eyes that reflected her own. On the goddess’ face it looked strange. It looked wrong. The enchanting, wraith-like being, covered in blood, was afraid.

The fear didn’t belong in that woman’s eyes. Perhaps it belonged in the girl who was awake, the girl who watched her life in the backseat of her own mind, but it did not belong on the face of the Goblin Queen. And yet there it was, simmering in her pitch-black eyes.

Who was she to think she could assume the appearance of a goddess and dare to be afraid? It changed nothing. She was the prize. The mouse to their cat. The prey to their predator. She refused to look at them, refused to let them know she could sense them. But their presence was looming, and they would soon begin, as they always did.

They were larger than life, and she was powerless.

Those creatures thirsted for her, that was why they always chased her. Perhaps it was her beauty, and the sensual energy she emanated, after all, beauty had always been her weapon as well as her weakness, but it wasn’t fair. And then, she sensed it. The slight movement in the trees, the momentary flicker of life. Her heart ceased, wrenching, and she dared not breathe, clenching her jaw as every hair on her body stood. She wanted to scream, wanted to run. But that was how it always began, with her frozen.

The shadows. They were alive. And they emerged from their camouflage within the trees. There was no escaping now. Somehow, she gained the strength to move… And the hunt began.

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2

It was always a chase with them, and Brett was the mouse, skittering through the trees desperate to lose them and somehow, they seemed to constantly be one step behind her.

The goblins liked to tease her. She had endured it for years, but she had somehow been unable to grow used to it. They chuckled behind her, their voices low and echoing in her mind like they were telepathically connected. Sometimes they hissed, sometimes they whispered. But every time, they caressed her internally, stroking the part of her brain that evoked fear, paralysis. Pain.

A constant reminder that she was chained to them, chained to this dream, this nightmare. Every time she was transported to this world, it was like she couldn’t remember the survival instincts that had helped her through the nights in the past.

Her mind seemed to empty itself completely, and she never knew if it was purposeful, but it seemed to be. As though her memory loss made the hunt more fun for them, so that she would never learn too much that she could get rid of them all together.

But she remembered everything else, the pain, the terror. Panting alone for hours until they showed themselves and she was forced to run again.

The twigs stabbed into her bare feet, still delicate and soft. She felt the wind blowing through the strands of her hair as she ran. The shadow ribbons that were her only clothing seemed to dance with every step as she crawled into the hidden spaces she could find.

Hide. Hide. Hide.

The goblins rarely spoke, but when they did it wasn’t something that she could shake for the next hour. The nightmare felt real, too real, as she crawled into the hollow dead log, squeezing tightly into the space, hoping it would last her the rest of the night. Of course, it wouldn’t. It never did.

Her hand clasped over her lips, stopping her from uttering a single noise that would give her away too quickly. Her other hand lay flat on her chest, she could feel the goosebumps on her breasts as they formed underneath her fingertips and the pounding of her heart as it beat rapidly and uncontrollably. Almost in sync with the panting of her breath.

Brett couldn’t see herself, but she imagined what she looked like in that moment. A beautiful goddess like woman, hiding in the hollow hole of the nearest log she could find. Even in her terrified state, it was hard not to internally beat herself up for acting the way she did and daring to look like a woman who could defy. Defy what had tormented her for years. Fight back against the fear and paranoia that haunted her, that dared to touch her life outside of sleep. She didn’t have the guts, no matter how desperately she wished she did.

Brett assumed the form of a gorgeous woman with cheekbones sharp enough to cut glass and eyes so alluring and dark that a person who gazed within them in the real world would likely be eternally lost and at her mercy forever. She looked powerful, demanding, and sensual. A scenic view of a woman. Not a girl. Not like Brett. It was almost an insult to cower within this log and to look the way she did at the same time, but she couldn’t stop shaking. Her arms folded over themselves, her head bent low, buried within her forearms as her legs curled to her chest. She drew in a long breath, she had survived this before, she would survive this again, and every night after she could survive. That was what made her powerful, but something still needed to change. The wind picked up from outside the log, and the sounds of the forest was a crescendo that challenged her to reveal herself. She could hear the creatures nearing her, but she could still not see them.

Good.

Once she saw them, they saw her, and it would be game over.

She released the breath she had been holding, crawling through to the other side of the log, and silently moving through the trees until she found a shrub of dead leaves and twigs. Instinctively, her mind told her to hide within it. Her body seemed to move for another decision until she heard the grating rustling of the leaves from high above where the trees towered above her. The branches of those trees knocked against each other as something big came her way.

If she knew one thing about these creatures, it was that they were larger than the forest’s height. It was not something she would ever forget, especially after the one night that she stared into the hollowed, sunken eyes of one of those creatures. She peeked, for the merest second, into the window of their soul, dark and withered away. Ravenous and insatiable for something only she could seemingly provide them.

If she could hear them, they were too close for her to be exposed for this long. She ducked into the shrub, crawling beneath until she was fully enclosed within the space, but she could still hear the creature move towards her. Her bare, pale legs became smeared and streaked with the brown of the mud from the ground, but it didn’t dull their glow as the moon shone down on her.

She only hoped the shine of her untainted skin would not glint into the eyes of one of those monsters. She had yet to not survive a single night and she would be damned if tonight – or any night moving forward – would be her last. Least of all because of her beauty. A weakness and a strength. She didn’t dare breathe as the creature stepped into the clearing of the forest, she had previously been standing in. It was purely made of shadows and the vines and curls of the branches of trees.

Its darkness floated around it, dancing and rising slowly, moving like ink in water. It dripped from where she assumed the creatures head was and it curled around what looked to be a resemblance of human fingers, and yet it was everything but human. She could hardly see through the dead leaves of the shrub, only hoping that her clothes and hair made it dark enough for her to camouflage into the forestry. Blending in with the shadows just like they did.

One wrong move, it would be over.

She couldn’t risk any sudden noise or movement that came from her.

The creature was silent as it lowered itself below the surface of the forest, peeking under the leaves. She tried not to whimper alarmed as it sniffed deeply, alarmingly close to the dripping wetness between her legs. She felt a wave of shame for the lack of control over her own body, only hoping the mud and moss was enough to cover the sweet scent emanating from her slit.

But it wasn’t a scent they could smell, rather the emotion, the feeling. The fear.

She drew in another long inhale, just as the creature lowered itself to the ground even more, until it was nearly kneeling on the ground, and moved its head closer and closer to her hiding spot. Inch by inch it approached her, so close that she, herself, could smell the creature’s distinct scent. Hunger. Overwhelming desire for something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. The creature drew closer, and every thought drained from her body as her mind focused on only one thing. The space between the creature’s nose and her sex. She felt the warmth of its breath kissing her exposed clit, and she held her breath.

She imagined herself back in her bed, her sleep unbothered, sinking safely into darkness as it held her, waiting for the morning light to wake her. She imagined the safe space in her mind, the backseat that allowed her to watch her life pass her by in peace. Allowed her the rest when she had never had the luxury.

She felt safe, she felt unafraid.

Her eyes were open, dark as midnight as she stared at the creature, its eyes were nothing but two holes in its head, deep and bottomless. An unfeeling pit of blackness. And yet she was not afraid. Because if she was, it would see her. And it could not see her, if she did not feel what it was expecting.

There was a wave of a breeze as the creature rose from where it crouched, not bothering to move its excuse for a hand forward to feel for her presence. As it walked away, the trees giving way to it, she nearly sighed with relief.

There was a hint of something tickling the back of her mind, like the beginnings of a memory resurfacing. She felt the goosebumps erupting across her body once again as the memory came in flashes… a thought perhaps. An idea. Something that allowed her to survive the night.

Suddenly it hit her, a memory that she had forgotten from one her of her nightmares, a key piece of information that seemed to be wiped from her mind mysteriously, but as she listened to the song of the forest, she realised why she never seemed to be able to find a hiding place that those shadow creatures couldn’t predict. She realised why running would never be an option unless it was the last thing she could do.

This forest – this world – was a part of those creatures.

Or rather the creatures were a part of the world. Every move, every feeling she had, the ground and the trees could sense it and it revelled in the taste of her fear. Bathed in her screams as she desperately tried every night to wake herself up.

She was constantly feeding them by allowing this world, this dream to be her nightmare. The goosebumps died down, her skin became smooth as porcelain as she emerged from the shrug, her feet sinking into the cold mud as she wiped the sweat from her forehead. It coated her entire body, unknowing to her but as the wind seemed to curve around her waist, she could feel the coolness of the moisture dampening, tightening her nipples against the cold.

She was not afraid.

For once, she wanted to act the way the sensual ghostlike goddess that was her appearance would act. She walked through the trees, keeping her heartbeat steady and breathing even as she strode in the open. From her knowledge, these creatures could not see her. At least the ones that she had been caught face to face with. And she knew that they chased her by her scent and the noise of her movements. They hungered for fear, her submission. They wanted to break her, bend her to their will and they wanted to play a game every night.

Not tonight. Tonight, she was not afraid, and she would do everything but submit to those goblins. The shadows that danced around her thinned, exposing more of her breasts as the skirt of her dress shortened to her curvaceous thighs. She was no longer afraid to show herself. This world would not break her. She could feel the shadows flowing, bouncing with each step as she glided through the forest, repeating to herself to be unafraid.

Do not give them what they want. Do. Not. Submit.

Those shadows thinned to nothing, and she became nude under the light of the moon. The only shadows that touched her now were the branches of the trees, licking her thighs and her breasts, teasing the dampening between her legs as if the forest longed to touch her. Perhaps it did. But too long had she spent at their mercy, too long had she spent hiding and running from them when they had never ever had the intention of truly catching her. It was the panic they wanted. The rapid heartbeats, the uncontrollable panting, and sweaty palms. Her screams, her terror. In the distance, she could hear them, she could not see them as the world had halted and everything stilled. But the trees rustled as they moved, letting through the giant goblins, so many of them. Too many of them. All of them blinded. They had sensed it; they could feel the lack of her presence and she could feel their anger. She could feel the anger through the trees, the vibrations of the forest. The calm before the storm. She took in a deep breath, letting the rotting smell of the air embrace her as she tilted her head up to the sky and washed herself in the moonlight. Taking its glow for herself. Taking the power, she knew she had over them.

She had found an escape; they would no longer bother her if she was not afraid. “Let me be,” she spoke in a voice loud and clear, echoing through the night. The creatures circled her, and to see them in all their glory caused a choke to emerge from her, but she brought herself back.

“There’s nothing you can do to make me afraid; I’m not scared anymore. So let me go, you have no use for me anymore.”

They seemed to think about it, staring at the direction of her voice, as if they were piercing her soul. And suddenly she was falling. Her heart leapt with joy as her stomach turned upside down. The falling always meant she would wake in her bed, often covered in sweat. But it was a sign that the nightmare was over.

They would leave her alone. It was finally over.

Darkness.

Brett had never awoken so fast in her life. Her eyes flew open just as fast as her body rose from her lying position. Her heart pounded in excitement as the blurriness of her vision cleared.

And just as quickly did the relief that flood her body, it left. She was not met with the vision of the wall from across her bed, but rather the same trees that towered over her.

The creatures, nowhere to be seen. The moonlight draped it’s light over the forest floor, like a spotlight on her. She had not left. And she couldn’t see the creatures, which meant they had hidden once again. They hadn’t agreed to return her or to leave her alone. They had simple restarted the game. Restarted the hell cycle.

She was stuck.